With arbitrary video ban of Louisville spring game, Bobby Petrino’s place on Mount Jerkmore secure
Ask anyone involved with college athletics who deserves to be on the Mount Rushmore of slipperiest bastards in the business and Bobby Petrino will most likely be in the conversation. The resume is there.
At every turn, the guy has ditched friends, associates, schools and NFL teams in order to feather his own bed, then has run back when he’s needed them, then in some cases embarrassed them all over again.
He’s the kind of guy who thinks nothing of rescinding an offer to a recruit late in the process when his position numbers don’t shake out the way he likes. He’s skipped out on jobs after a single year eight times, often without telling his bosses. He’s been caught in lies by everyone from high-level administrators to his wife.
Bobby Petrino is pretty much the embodiment of the worst in humanity big-money college athletics can produce.
So, when he arbitrarily decided to ban video at Louisville’s spring game on Saturday, no one much was surprised.
What could possibly be secret about a spring-game strategy? What might be the tactical breakthrough in an offense that basically need only snap the ball to electric Heisman winner Lamar Jackson and watch him throw or go? And why would anyone want to black out a spring game where thousands of people attend?
Presumably, Petrino is being pushed farther into nutcase mode by the fact that his first 2017 opponent of the heels of a 3-game losing streak to end 2016 is Purdue. That would not be the Purdue led by overmatched MAC-grad Darrell Hazell but the Purdue by its new coach, former Louisville assistant and quarterback Jeff Brohm – Petrino’s old right-hand man. At this point, Petrino’s paranoia is doubtless akin to a televangelist being tracked by the Feds.
Though no reason was given or was even apparent for the video ban, it’s the kind of thing Petrino does. Not because he needs to, but because he can. In other words, it’s what’s known as “a total d— move.”
And so, while 14,000 people, presumably two-thirds of them with smart phones, sat and watched the scintillating action of the Red beating the White 52-7 on a sunny 81-degree day, there was no television and no video allowed.
No problem for print outlets and their still photographers. But what do you do if you’re a Louisville television station and have no choice but to cover this jackass’s football team and its spring game?
If you have a perfect-pitch sense for video satire, you do what WLKY did. I don’t even know how to do this justice with a description so just watch and enjoy.
The best part is, like any great satire, the subject will be too prosaic to know he’s indirectly being mocked. But then, as long as he has an escape route, a ready alibi, and another employer lined up, he doesn’t care, either.
DAVID JONES: firstname.lastname@example.org